teamrocketing:

i hate it when i see someone i vaguely know in public. do i say hi?? do i act like i don’t see them and hope for the best?? 

(via hotboyproblems)

Posted 2 hours ago with 114269 note

smilingtroye:

ultrawallflower99:

Suite Life of Zack and Cody was just amazing

I miss it so much.

(via imjustjaneeme)

Posted 2 hours ago with 80519 notes

finalzidane-x:

nyx-010:

horroriskiller:

The boy who played Danny in “The Shining” had no idea he was filming for a horror movie. From Cracked: 

Lloyd just thought they were making a movie about a family in a hotel. He wasn’t even really sure how much he was getting paid to be there. He was only ever shown severely edited footage that took out all the scary parts, which essentially means he thought he was filming the most boring snoozefest ever created, because without the iconic scenes of terror, The Shining is a movie about three people wandering around in cavernous, brooding silence.
Lloyd didn’t see the actual uncut movie until many years later as a teenager, and suddenly everything clicked into place — those two nice British girls with whom he used to play and share lunch in between takes? They were ax-murdered ghosts who wanted his soul. That nice Jack Nicholson man who did a funny tomahawk dance when Lloyd accidentally wandered on set one day? Jack was slobberingly hacking his way through a bathroom door to murder Lloyd’s onscreen mother only moments prior.


That must have been the biggest mindfuck of his life.

Clever way to put a kid in a scary movie and still keep his innocence if you ask me. Now he’s got bragging rights for being in a classic.

finalzidane-x:

nyx-010:

horroriskiller:

The boy who played Danny in “The Shining” had no idea he was filming for a horror movie. From Cracked: 

Lloyd just thought they were making a movie about a family in a hotel. He wasn’t even really sure how much he was getting paid to be there. He was only ever shown severely edited footage that took out all the scary parts, which essentially means he thought he was filming the most boring snoozefest ever created, because without the iconic scenes of terror, The Shining is a movie about three people wandering around in cavernous, brooding silence.

Lloyd didn’t see the actual uncut movie until many years later as a teenager, and suddenly everything clicked into place — those two nice British girls with whom he used to play and share lunch in between takes? They were ax-murdered ghosts who wanted his soul. That nice Jack Nicholson man who did a funny tomahawk dance when Lloyd accidentally wandered on set one day? Jack was slobberingly hacking his way through a bathroom door to murder Lloyd’s onscreen mother only moments prior.

That must have been the biggest mindfuck of his life.

Clever way to put a kid in a scary movie and still keep his innocence if you ask me. Now he’s got bragging rights for being in a classic.

(via cockless-in-seattle)

Posted 2 hours ago with 185046 notes

twentyonescreens:

teamrocketing:

my last words will probably be sarcastic

"what are you gonna do, kill me?"

(via imjustjaneeme)

Posted 2 hours ago with 177220 note

urbancatfitters:

you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”

(Source: urbancatfitters, via imjustjaneeme)

Posted 2 hours ago with 580214 note

ultralifetips:

Follow Ultralifetips for more

ultralifetips:

Follow Ultralifetips for more

Posted 2 hours ago with 351 notes

pandaaamonium14:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

pandaaamonium14:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

(via lovelylittlelolitakitty)

Posted 3 hours ago with 801920 notes

defend-p0ptarts:

eveariel:

frostmatey:

sizvideos:

Video

I fear whoever made this holy shit

"Hey can I get the time?"
"Uh yeah… just… just wait… wait for it… it’s… It’s 10:30"

In some sort of way this is so fucking satisfying.

(via inactiveblogger)

Posted 3 hours ago with 21585 notes

accioromione:

Philosopher’s Stone deleted scene

I FUCKING CRY LAUGHING EVERY TIME I SEE THIS ONLY BECAUSE OF HARRYS REACTION LIKE LOOK AT THE LAST GIF OMG DANIEL RADCLIFFE A+ ACTING OMG

(Source: harrypotterdailly, via didthemonster-mash)

Posted 3 hours ago with 202135 notes

troylershipszalfie:

5sos-smut-world:

thejamesboyle:

caluummhood:

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

this is my favorite post ever.

(Source: onleatherwings92, via faggotron-3000)

Posted 3 hours ago with 2156193 notes

missriveter:

wollffeey:

silverlightpony:

whappy101:

glassbottledemon:

Male rape victim talks about why he finds male rape funny at the Atomic Vaudeville Cabaret in June of 2012.

Full Video: [x]

GIFs made by /u/inadreamscape

I was about to get kind of upset untill I finished it to the end. Its so true though.

I swear I’ve reblogged this before.

READ THE WHOLE THING

The look of pain in his eyes at the end

:(

(via didthemonster-mash)

Posted 3 hours ago with 191933 notes
Posted 3 hours ago with 256916 notes

spoopybarakarts:

My friends are so fucking strange

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

Posted 3 hours ago with 394774 notes

8bitatoms:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

sevvey6:

morbidamusement:

captain-snark:

bananamerlin:

maderadearquitecto:

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

imagine banging someone on that table

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

noooooo stop

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

aaaah it was a cool table now it’s a horror/drama story

(Source: rialxoan, via faggotron-3000)

Posted 4 hours ago with 648773 notes
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